No, laptop is not the name of a dearly beloved pet. Nor a partner or lover. Just a laptop. We haven’t gone in for names.
But I have had to suffer the most beastly 10 days without the thing, while it’s been off gallivanting round the country getting repaired. Yes, 10 whole days. And what have I done in that time? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sitting and staring out the window would definitely rank as my main pastime in this traumatic period in my life. I had no idea I’d miss that fuddy duddy little fella of mine quite so much. We don’t even like each other. I mean, my laptop is actually particularly and quite spectacularly awful, but at least it’s a laptop.
The thing is I freelance, so it pretty much is my life. And I really need it for my entertainment, I’ve got two episodes of Downton Abbey to catch up with, for God’s sake. I am literally a deprived adult.
Now I do have a “smart” phone, and bless it, it has tried to help me in my dilemma. But writing Pulitzer and Nobel winning literature is just not that easy on a phone. Nor is access to an array of documents I hoped to work on and send to people.
If there is one positive to take from this terrible saga, it’s my not being able to do my invoicing. My template simply won’t work on my phone. I hate invoicing, possibly more than I hate the marmitey crumbs my flatmate insists on leaving in my butter. But not even my distinctly dwindling funds and complete and utter lack of purpose could tempt me into an internet cafe to attempt it there. No thanks.
But alas, the lovely people out there somewhere have now restored my laptop to life, and if anyone’s glad, it’s my bank balance. It’s waiting for me to send those bloody invoices, so I may as well get on with it. Oh, it’s a hard life.
Man without substance 